How to Avoid Online Dating & Romances Scams

What is a Romance Scam?

Romance scams, also known as online dating scams, happen when online scammers trick people into thinking they’re in a romantic relationship to steal from or otherwise manipulate their targets. Cybercriminals use fake identities (or real identities with fake intentions) to gain their victims’ trust and then ask, or blackmail, victims for money or personal information. In 2020, victims of romance scams lost $304 million according to the FTC.

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Online Dating Romance Scammer Tactics

Often, romance scammers are skilled in creating believable fake backgrounds that appeal to their victims. But this isn’t the only approach deployed in online dating scams. There are several signs of a romance scammer to keep in mind before you start a romantic relationship with someone online.

Long-Distance Lovers

Romance scammers may pretend to live in a different country as an excuse for why they can’t meet in person. Common excuses include being deployed overseas in the military, working as a doctor in an international organization, or working on an oil rig. Look out for any inconsistencies with these stories.

Too Much, Too Fast

If your online relationship becomes serious in a short amount of time, you may be the unknowing victim of a romance scam. Be wary of online partners who profess their love too quickly or even ask you to marry them.

Too Good to Be True

Romance scammers sometimes target people individually. If their profile lists interests and hobbies that identically match yours, they may have created it specifically for you.

Asking for Money

When talking online to a romance scammer, you may be directly asked for money. If you haven’t met your online love interest and they’re asking you to send them money, be cautious. Romance scammers may create elaborate stories about travel expenses, medical expenses, or family emergencies to persuade you to send them money. They also will likely ask for the money to be sent quickly and anonymously through wire transfer, preloaded gift cards, or a newly established bank account.

On the other hand, romance scammers may also ask to send you money. Scammers ask you to deposit money into your bank account or distribute the funds to other people. These requests can be a way for them to scam you directly or use you for money laundering.

Other Signs of a Romance Scammer

Sometimes, red flags may be apparent from the start. If the messages someone sends you look like they could be copy-pasted from somewhere else, don’t make sense, or include suspiciously poor grammar and spelling, you should proceed with caution. Romance scammers also typically come up with different excuses for why they can’t video chat or talk on the phone. They may make promises to visit you that they don’t intend to follow through on, sometimes canceling travel plans at the last minute.

Once you’re aware of the common tactics that romance scammers use, you’ll be able to avoid scams as soon as you notice red flags. Approach online relationships slowly and set up a phone or video chat early on. Seeing someone’s face can help you determine whether their dating profile is legitimate. Avoid sending compromising pictures that scammers could use to blackmail you and keep you passwords and other confidential information secure. Above all else, never loan or gift money to someone you haven’t met. Don’t give out your financial information or send money to a stranger, even if they’ve gained your trust.