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“The only true voyage of discovery…would be not to visit strange lands, but to possess other eyes, to behold the universe through the eyes of another, of a hundred others, to behold the hundred universes that each of them beholds, that each of them is.” — Marcel Proust
I’ll put my hand up – I have a problem with the term “Growth Mindset,” not with the concept but how it’s used.
For those of you who don’t know what a “Growth Mindset” is, it’s a term coined by psychologist Carol Dweck to describe the belief that skills and intelligence can be improved with effort and deliberate practice rather than something that we have or we don’t. I can’t argue with that.
The problem I have is that “Growth Mindset” is treated as something that’s binary: Either you have a Growth Mindset . . . . or you don’t. Of course, everyone who talks about a growth mindset is proud to tell you how they have one.
I’ve even come across examples of where Growth Mindset has been weaponized – “If you don’t agree with my decision then you don’t have a ‘Growth Mindset.'”
Growth mindset is a journey
What we must realize is that Growth Mindset isn’t binary. It’s aspirational, contextual and you’ll invariably never completely achieve it.
Let me explain. In Stoicism, and many other philosophies, there’s a concept of the Sage – someone who has achieved ultimate wisdom. You aspire to be like that person and use them as a guide and role model. It’s something you work towards knowing you’ll never fully achieve it.
I believe it’s the same case with Growth Mindset – It’s something you need to continually be working at rather than thinking you have it or don’t.
Conflict in the context of growth mindset
Nothing demonstrates this more than conflict. Now the word conflict has many negative connotations, but I’m talking about it in the context of ideas, information or opinions that conflict with our own. You’re chatting away with someone and they give you a piece of information or an opinion that you disagree with. How do you react?
This is the true test, and when many people fall back into bad habits such as rejection, defense or attack.
It’s easy to say you have a growth mindset when you’re learning something new that doesn’t challenge what you know or believe, but dealing with challenging topics is a great test of how far we are on our growth mindset and a reminder that we still have work to do.
We must remember that having a growth mindset isn’t just about learning new things – it’s also about unlearning old things. It’s about having 0% commitment to being right, and 100% commitment to finding the truth. It’s about being vulnerable and curious and being open to the potential that we may be wrong.
How to approach conflict constructively
No two people and their expectations are the same, so conflict is inevitable. Instead of dreading it, we can view conflict as opening the door to greater understanding.
To overcome this, constantly challenge the status quo as well as your own assumptions. Understand why you are doing things the way you are; dive in. People tend to get ingrained in tribal knowledge or even by complacency (which happens more easily than anyone cares to admit). We’re all guilty of being vulnerable to the Rashomon Effect –our perspectives and biases that filter and skew how we see the world and we often miss the objective truth.
Conflict provides the opportunity for you to learn that is there is not a good case to be doing what you’re doing, or that there are better options.
A great way to deal with conflict is to ask questions to build understanding. Fortunately, when it comes to formulating your questions, there are some terrific tools available. From the book Fierce Conversations are the Fierce Mineral Rights conversation starter and the Fierce Conversations confrontation model. Each help you piece together how to approach a conversation where asking the right questions and circumventing negativity are needed to break. It’s important to remember that stopping at the first answer often does not yield the best results if (and more likely, when) the true problem isn’t immediately uncovered. Other tools you might find helpful here include fishbone diagrams and Six Sigma’s 5 Whys approach.
If you believe you’ve already achieved a Growth Mindset, you’re less likely to notice when you’ve slipped into bad habits and biases. It’s the same reason why smart people tend to make poor decisions: We tend to be overconfident in our own abilities.
But the simplest thing to try is to approach every conversation with humility, curiosity, and kindness. Focus on trying to understand rather than convince. Look to question, not argue or defend.
Admitting we’re working towards having a growth mindset makes us more likely to stay curious and remain open to new ideas. It makes us more aware of our own biases, opinions, and judgments. It makes us antifragile – we know that each time we’re proved wrong, we’ll get closer towards our goal. And hopefully it’ll also help us become a bit more empathetic and understanding towards everyone else who’s on their journey.
And remember – conflict is essential. It’s how we learn and grow – we just need to approach it with a growth mindset.
What do you think? How does dealing with conflict fit in to your journey in developing a growth mindset? Tweet us your thoughts at @MicrosoftRI or follow us on Facebook and join the conversation.
John Westworth is a Design Researcher in the Office Design and Research team. He is passionate about providing leadership to help companies implement change and manage transformation to use new technologies that impact how they work. Check out John’s other blog article, “A responsible approach to innovation.”
Interested in joining our team? We have job openings in Redmond, WA; Atlanta, GA; and Dublin, Ireland posted here.